Freeter Flail [MAJORLY LONG POST]

This is going to be a long, slightly emotional, and kind of random post that will go on very many different tangents but somehow all revolves around my love of Nino's drama, 「フリーター、家を買う」. So yeah. Honestly? This is mostly a personal post that only vaguely relates to Freeter to be honest. ^^;; But read away.

So, I just watched episode 4 of Freeter and... I cried. I don't cry for a lot of things. I rarely cry for anything. The last time I cried watching a drama was when I watched "One Litre of Tears" which was 2 years ago and I only cried one TISSUE. Not a box, not a package. One tissue, that's it. Nothing more. So i guess you can imagine how hard it is for me to cry and yet I cried watching Freeter. Episode 4. The minute Seiji said "Ore shika ha nai" and the tears just started flowing down my face and I couldn't stop them.

I really don't know what it was about this scene. Actually the entire episode I really felt like crying. Or I had the urge to. This entire drama is a roller coaster for me. My heart breaks in every episode as I watch Seiji struggle with his family's problems. This episode... watching Seiji break like that, I just couldn't help but start sobbing. I didn't even know WHY I was sobbing. I didn't feel sorry for him, I don't know, somehow.. I ... I empathsized with him even though I've never been in his situation before in my life. Maybe it's Nino's acting, I'm not sure but when I saw Seiji crying my entire heart just broke for him.

I love my mom. I really do. My mom is to me, like Seiji's mom was to him. She is my support. I'm not as FAIL as Seiji was, I mean I get straight A's and study hard and what not, but even then, I'm not the proud, confident, 'nerd' that most Straight A'ers are. And so I have my mom there to be my pole to lean on. She's there, every step of the way saying "you can do it, you're fine" she is the person that asks me "Are you okay? Can you handle it?". She is there to tell me when I can take a break, when it's okay for me to break down, when it's okay for me to take a step away and just... relax. And so seeing Seiji's mom like that, in such a depression. It breaks my heart. It really hurts me and as I watch Seiji struggle it hurts me more because i know, I KNOW, if that was me in that position, I would break. I would just crumble into pieces and fall apart. Especially if Seiji's dad was my dad.

Which brings me to another point. Seiji's dad. I hate him. I don't care what his excuse is, no matter what his problem is, or why he's being such a fucking ass hole, I don't CARE. I don't have a good relationship with my dad. Granted, my dad is actually a good dad, I just... don't get along with him. And my dad actually supports my mom. But seeing Seiji's dad makes my blood boil. Seeing him yell at Seiji, yell at Seiji's sister (who I can't remember the name off), seeing him yell at his WIFE who than has the KINDNESS TO PROTECT HIM just... OH MY GOD. That is half the reasno I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry from sheer ANGER at seeing this man on screen. I just wanted to reach in there and punch him, over and over, and over again until he realized what a RETARD and what a FAILURE of a HUMAN BEING he is. *rantsgrumbleswearkillssomeone*. Yeah. I don't have a good relationship with my dad, and my dad is nothing like this man but I just generally dont' like fathers and seeing a father like this just... ugh. I'm disugsted.

See? See how Freeter does this to me? How I can I NOT love a drama that envokes so much emotion in me? Normally I have as much emotion as a rock - ie - none. I have little empathy for anyone, and the emotional and understanding range of a teaspoon. You could say this is a mental problem but whatever. And yet, to have a drama like this drive me up the wall with anger, frustrating, annoyance, sadness, heartbreak, tears... T-T

and then to move on to just the whole theme the drama seems to be showing of SOCIAL PRESSURE IN JAPAN. Oh my god. I love this drama just for this reason. This is a brilliant theme to show because it's true. This is SO Japanese and Japanese people need to LEARN about how stiffling their social heirarchy is, not just on a business level but just on a regular "neighbourly" level. It's suffocating. It's terrible. You constantly have to be good to your neighbours, your relatives, the people around you, and if you're not your orstricized, rejected. This drama is no exaggeration and I honestly think that the fact that Japan has made a drama like this is just one LARGE step for the country and I'm so glad it's doing well and that people are SERIOUSLY watching this.

Freeter I think, is not only the best drama I've seen all year, but one of THE BEST dramas I've seen so far. And I know it's not done yet so I really shouldn't be saying this so fast (I mean, episode 4 - come on) but honestly... *wibbles*.